I CANNOT believe I'm awake already. Still one cup of strong (decaff!) coffee and I'll be fine - placebo effect @ InfiniteStates?
Anyway, thats today, what happened yesterday?
Woke up 03:15, woke up the theDAYWALKERTRON (AKA Chris) with a steaming hot cup of joe each. Made a forum post, sent a few tweets, read some emails, collected everything I needed for the day... set off for Earls Court at 4am.
On the way I'd be collecting a few strays here and there, the first being theENIGMATRON (AKA Dave how far to Birkenhead?) looking lost and waiting for a bus that never came. Said our hello's and headed off back in the opposite direction and down the M6 to meet Symonator (AKA Sy, Ladybird, or briefcase man), another lost soul alone on a roundabout looking like he might raid Argos.
Last on the list was Chrisdfa1 (AKA Chris, AKA want some sweeties? Want some buscuits? Want some jaffacakes, AKA btw I eat like I have the munchies
), more hello's and hand shaking, a quick glance at what looked like an irate Pauline... Yes Dazzy_94, we saw Stacie - I mean Chris' mom! Then like nellie the elephant, we packed our trunks and headed off to the circus.
Getting there was a breeze, until the sat nav had a hissy fit and tried to make me turn right were I couldn't. Thank fully I dont think I went into the congestion zone and a few minutes later we were parked up in Earls Court and made our way to the entrance.
Waiting for us was a rag tag motley crew of InfiniteStates (AKA Charlie) Seddon (AKA redVENGEANCE), and Charlies brother (AKA Charlies brother - sorry m8e, I forgot your name).
With little or no expectation, we headed into the venue, and with the size of our hunting pack, we intimidated security into letting us in, (OK we had tickets, but they were never going to stop us anyway - The Mess-Hall crew). Sy and I got in, turned on our battery packs and let our T-shirts shine in the darkness.
After a brief walk around and ogled some of the fine ladies on show, we found the 18 section of the hall... Battlefield and that piddly little other game.. whats it called??? Oh yeah thats it Call of Dicks, modern warfare 33.
As soon as we got in there, we joined THE QUEUE for Battlefield 3! As it happens, it was the wrong one, we were queing for Dog tags and not to play! DOH! It wasn't all bad though, some nice chap from EA noticed our t-shirts and let us all jump the queue and play Battlefield 3 single player. Now I don't know how they did it, I looked in the window behind the stand and noticed that all the consoles were PS3 slims, but it looked like it was playing in 1080p and was smooth and lush.
It's a bit pointless really to go over the gameplay, 'cos on Monday we get early access to the Beta! And then we'll all see just how amazing this game looks and plays... can I take a pill that will make me sleep until then?
Ok that done it was smoke time, outside on the steps we gathered and no doubt scared some people into thinking that London was burning again... it wasn't it was just Dave chain smoking, but he did have an excellent backup crew, only Chris, Seddon and Charlies brother didn't smoke.
After that we basically ambled about for a bit, looking at all that was on offer, bumped into a sales guy we made an excellent pitch that sounded completely like a con when you broke it down... still he didn't get my details did he Chris?
We played the odd game here and there, but it was too close to lunch time and stomachs were growling, so we did the obvious and went for a smoke. One fag break later and it was time to feed the monster. The food was ok, nothing amazing, but we tucked in like we hadn't eaten in three hours and finished the lot. Appetites fed and blood sugar restored, we headed off back to perv at the NVidia girls. Oops, didn't I mention them earlier? Thats because we wanted to keep them to ourselves, they were NICE! Definitely the hottest girls of the entire day, and they worked at our favourite stand... Battlefield 3.
But anyways I digress, now it was time to hit OnLive with a classic Mess-Hall rush... just me and Sy, then sy ran out for a smoke, so it was just me. Dave, Seddon, theDAYWALKER and Chris headed off for the Battlefield 3 multiplayer, Charlie and Charlies brother went off to MacDonalds. So there I was in this massive queue, waiting for a ticket to get an OnLive consle for £1.00 when this HUGE, towering giant of a man accused me of being Daz. "What me no, sorry pal you have the wrong guy". "it's you, your Daz". now I was getting really nervous, I thought he was gonna rip my head off in one go like some god like bear, "Daz it's me... BackedOut_". Suddenly he shrank to his normal size and no longer looked intimidating. Ah the relief, thankfuly the sphincter held true and I managed not to soil myself. "BackedOut_! Hey man how the hell are ya?". We talked for a few and he headed off back deeper into the queue and waited with his brother.
Eventually Sy and Chris came back and I relayed the terrifying incident I just had with BackedOut_
When the queue came around again, Sy and Chris introduced themselves to BackedOut_ and again we chatted for a while, another great gamer met in person!
We got our OnLive tickets, but not after we endured some dubious conversation from an OnLive rep, about how we couldn't register from our phones via the official website, all because of network security and man-in-the-middle attack. Whatever, some people take what tiny bit of authority they have, and even smaller knowledge to make themselves feel better. What ever!
Well as you can guess, it was time for some more nicotine and to scare half the population of London with smoke.
After some debate, we decided to re-join the queue for the battlefield dog tags, phones at the ready, pre-order screens made available to the lovely lady at the stamping machine, fake screenshots et al, she didn't care, I even got a spare set of tags just by asking, the day was drawing to a close and they wanted to get out of there just like we did.
Dog Tags franked, more smokes smoked, we said goodbye to Seddon and InfiniteStates and headed back inside for one last hurrah and grab some photos before heading home.
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The show overall was poor, I've been to better insurance conventions, sure the girls were lush, the games were great, the consessions plentyful and not overly expensive. But there really wasn't a huge amount on offer, but we enjoyed it non the less.
Now is the time to explain what made the day so good....
Trying to get out of London on a Friday rush hour was never going to be fun or easy, but it was.
The traffic was snarled up for nearly an hour, and we laughed until we cried. Dave had nicked theDAYWALKERS iphone and connected it to the car stereo, I cranked up the volume like some stereo-typical drug dealer, and let rip with about 30 minutes of pure unadulterated PORN VOCALS.
YES we did, sounds of some girl screaming, fuck me with your huge cock, thats it deep in my cunt, and OMG I'm gonna cum all over your cock blaring out at nearly the same volume as a 747 take off, and yes we made sure London heard us... all the windows were down.
I'm sorry Londonites, if you hadn't looked on in disdain or scorn, if you'd paid us no heed, we would have stopped, but you didn't, so we went louder, deeper and harder than ever.
We laughed until we cried, and we just kept going.
A few apologies need to be made:
BackedOut_ you really do sound big and intimidating over the mic, but it was still a great pleasure to meet you and put a face to the voice.
Symonator Sorry I missed the junction, I must've been yawning at the time.
Overall it was one of the best days of my life, not because the show was great, it wasn't, it was becuase our rag tag band of heroes made it so good. Guy's I thought I'd never meet in person were met, and I cincerly hope you all had a good a day as me.
LADYBIRDS!
hope you where not insulted by it lol!!